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I am really heartbroken a sister needs our advice

A SISTER NEEDS OUR ADVICE!

I got married to my husband for many years now without a child, and on the 15th year of our marriage, my husband decided we adopt a child. And after three years we adopted another, so we have a boy and a girl. The boy is fifteen years old, while the girl is almost twelve years old now. I noticed that the boy was looking more like my husband as he grows, nobody believed that we adopted those children, except for very close friends that knew about the adoption.

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I have never had any problem with my husband and I know he loves me a lot, I never lack anything and so also the children.
Recently I was searching through our drawer when I stumbled on the birth certificate of my two children, it brought about so many memories, but I noticed that my husband’s name was written as the father on both certificates with different woman’s names and the date they were born before we apply for adoption.

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I was so confused and confronted my husband when he came home from work that day. He looked at me and told me that the children are his, that he has to do it.

At the moment I am really heartbroken and don’t know what to do next.
I can’t believe that my lovely husband can cheat on me and deceived me into training another woman’s child.

I don’t think I can trust him anymore, and that has made me a little withdrawn from the children.
Please, how do I continue in this marriage?

Timothy Chimene

Written by Timothy Chimene

timothy chimene is a passionate blogger who enjoy what he does in internet, also a web consultant, digital marketer, business coach,motivational lecturer, writer.. etc

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  1. What a heart breaking story! It would be so hard to learn of such deceit! Only the woman can decide if this is something she can forgive and accept. I would not blame her if she can’t. I wouldn’t want to be lied to my whole relationship, the trust is the foundation.

  2. This is really heart broken, in cases like this divorce is the only solution, because, if you forgive him and decide to move on he will surely take advantage of you and still cheats.

  3. This is heartbreaking to hear. I’m not sure what I would do in this situation. Unfortunately the question that comes to my mind is, are these the only 2 children he biologically has AND are these the only 2 occasions in which he cheated? If not, how many more women? How many more children exist? Best of luck in this sould search, it won’t be easy.

  4. This is seriously disturbing, but first question: do you love your children? They may be borne by your husband, but those children are yours too. Be angry at your husband, but the first thing you need to do is to ensure your fights or issues aren’t happening in front of the children, because those two kids have done nothing wrong.

  5. That must have come as a bit of a shock. The worst part is he was deceitful and didn’t share this with you before he adoption. I’d seek professional help.

  6. It is ridiculous how huge of a mess some people can make not only of their lives but of the lives of the people around them! This poor woman…

    – Laura // afinnontheloose.com

  7. I’m sorry to hear that your husband broke your heart. And you’re brave to share with us this story. I would feel upset and betrayed by this but please try not to argue when the kids are around too as this can affect them badly. Seeking counselors could help. Stay strong, sis! <3

  8. Really sad. I can only imagine your pain, anger and frustration. But I can also understand his action. I’m not justifying them, I just understand them. He was desperate for kids that you couldn’t offer. He didn’t tell you because he didn’t want to hurt you or put pressure on you.

    Again, he wanted to raise his kids so he brought them home. You’ve said it yourself that he loves you and you’ve never lacked a thing. I think he does— that’s why he didn’t leave.

    Am I saying what he did was right? Absolutely not. But I’m looking at it from another perspective— his perspective — he was desperate. I believe he delibrately didn’t have two of them from the same woman because he didn’t want any form of disrespect towards you (if you know what I mean).

    I personally wouldn’t advice you to divorce. I’d advice you to work it out. I’d advice you two to talk often about everything and pray together. I’d advice you to forgive him and love those kids like they are yours. And who knows, it won’t be long if yours come along.

    But even if they don’t, these kids will love you either way. I pray you find peace. I pray you heal.

  9. My question is, Has your husband ever made you feel that the children are not yours? well, the only thing i have to say is that you should not punish those kids for what they don’t know about. and try to find a way to settle with your husband, what he did was wrong but maybe its all in the past now.

  10. That is a really difficult situation. The biggest issue is regaining the trust you had in the relationship. The children are not at fault, but I can understand your feelings towards them after you learned the truth. Maybe counseling would help. Seek the advice of a spiritual adviser or marriage counselor. If the relationship cannot be saved, at least you would have some of your self confidence back. I hope everything works well for the benefit of both parties.

  11. What a heartbreaking situation. I really can’t tell what advice should I give. It is a process between a wife and a husband. I am not in that situation. But praying for you and I hope everything will be OK.

  12. I’m so sorry to hear that. The deceit has to be the most heart-breaking part and can cause you to withdraw from your husband and kids. I hope you get to sit together and talk about the issue in length or else, the kids will be affected adversely plus your marriage. If there is one thing I can advocate for is peace remaining in the family. You can always seeks professional help.

  13. Sorry to see that you are going through this. First ask yourself what exactly you want? Then talk to him. Make sure you guys take care of your kids. Don’t let this impact on their future. Take care dear.

  14. I don’t think I am in the position to give marriage advice to anyone because I never been married.I wish for the best for her !

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